If I Knew Then What I Know Now

Dear Eighteen Year Old Me,

Sup scrub..

I know your going through a lot right now. That big scary thing that keeps you up at night called “life” is coming at you faster and faster. I know you don’t feel like your ready right now. And to be honest you’re not. But, you will get there. Maybe. Haha. I’m only 4 years ahead of you so we are still learning I suppose. A few good pointers though that I can give you.

First of all relax kid. Things will fall into place how they are supposed to. You losing sleep at night isn’t helping make anything better. Chill. Enjoy your life and let life unfold how it’s supposed to. You’ll be okay, trust me I’d know.

Secondly, look at yourself in the mirror. I know you hate what is looking back at you. You think your ugly, inside and out. You hate your smile, the scars on your face, and how big your head is. You think your selfish, emotional, mean, and a reject. And I know that often times you’d rather be dead than go through another day hating yourself. I want you to take a minute to realize how many people love you. I want you to look at all the friends you’ve made over the years. I want you to think of all the times people have been there to help you when you needed it. YOU ARE LOVED kid. More than you realize.

Thirdly, YOU ARE ENOUGH! I want you to look at yourself everyday and say it if that’s what it takes. You don’t have to lie anymore. You don’t have to make up some person you feel people will accept more than you. People love you for you, and it’s about time you start loving you for you too. On another note, never stop trying. You are wayyyyyyy stronger than you give yourself credit for. Later in life there will be certain situations that will make you realize it, but I think it would be beneficial for you to realize it now.

Another thing, be happy bro! I know you are a people pleaser and you do it because you like to make people happy, because you’re not. But, there is so much for you to be happy about! All the people rooting for you to be successful, all the people who have supported you for years, and especially that little lady you call grandma.

Now this is a big one. I want you to realize that woman loves you with everything inside her. There’s going to come a time in your life where you wish you would’ve let her know you feel the same way. So I want you to let that woman know she means the absolute world to you and know that you are her world. Be there to help her, hold her hand, support her, and be her strength. She’s going to need you just like you needed her for love and support when you were younger. Don’t let her go without her knowing how much you love her.

Finally kid, you are going to be fine. Well as far as I know anyways. HAHA. You happen to be a strong-willed, kind-hearted, loving, caring, intelligent young man. Even though you go out of your way to make people see you otherwise. It’s okay to be you. You are enough! Don’t let anyone or anything change that! And don’t let you trying to be someone and something that you are not, make you lose things that are important to you. Look yourself in the mirror and start loving yourself kid…you deserve it.

– Sincerely


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