Forgive and Forget?


(Courtesy of Compendius)

By: Rashawn Marquise

Why do people cheat? Why do we choose to be selfish in relationships? I believe that men and women cheat for different reasons. I Believe that cheating is cheating , and wrong is wrong. However I feel as though the ideology behind the actions for the different genders can vary. That being said, nothing is an absolute. No generalized answer can be given for anyone, as we are all different and people can break statistics. Soooooooooo here we go.

I believe people cheat on their significant other because they are attracted to whatever factor, action, or traits their partner lacks. Say you have a full buffet in front of you. The buffet has all your favorite foods, but it is missing one thing. For the sake of this discussion lets say its chicken. Even with all this food in your face you still want chicken. You crave chicken, and all you can think about is chicken. All of a sudden someone with a platter of chicken walks by and you happen to catch a glimpse of it. Now you have a decision to make. Either you sit at the table with all the other foods you like but don’t really want AT THE MOMENT, or you get up and leave the table to pursue the chicken. This analogy applies to relationships as well. When you are craving something in a relationship and feel as if you’re deprived of it, when it is presented to you, you are immediately tempted to partake in it because its something you haven’t had in a while.

Now for men it can be simple reasons why we are distracted. Things like a bigger butt, bigger breast, a healthier and more active sexual appetite, or even things like a more sexual vibe, she’s more supportive, more submissive personality, more aggressive, or any combination of these. These factors can act as a reason for someone to rationalize a “side piece” a person that you do not have any emotional connection to. But it takes care of your momentary craving. For women I believe it’s a little bit deeper. I believe whereas men crave physical things that they are missing women crave the emotional side of things. Now don’t get me wrong women crave the physical things as well, however, there is a fundamental difference. I believe when women cheat there is a bit of emotion and premeditation to it. A woman thinks and chooses who she wants to sleep with for specific reasons. Whereas, a man can roll the dice and pick up anything (LITERALLY anything)  and be momentarily satisfied.

I believe that a relationship is based on trust and selflessness. Cheating takes both of those things and throws them out of the window. I believe that when you cheat you make the conscious decision to put yourself and your needs over your significant other. Inversely I believe that if you have needs that are not being satisfied, you need to communicate that to your partner. If they do not take those needs to heart and a least try….you need to let it go. Cheating causes damage, dis-trust, and a multitude of issues for both parties. After someone cheats it breaks the relationship into pieces. Picking up said pieces can be done, but in the end the whole of the relationship will be cracked, damaged, and will never be the same. In the end it’s not worth hurting someone who you “care about”. If you aren’t happy. Leave. If you try to fix things and can’t. Leave. Don’t be selfish and break someones heart because you want to be selfish.

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