By Tasmin Pepin-Perry
When I find myself involved in a discussion on men and women it’s always interesting to listen to men complain how difficult women are. The most common question I hear addressed to women is “Why do you all make things so complicated?”Do I honestly think that women and men are as different as it seems. Yes. I don’t believe what we want in life is different. The end goals in most cases are the same. I believe the ways in which we communicate and handle situations is what makes us different. But fundamentally to our core of our wants I believe we are the same.
Men have a tendency to look at a problem and solve it. They don’t spend hours dissecting the problem. They don’t necessarily need to talk it out with someone else. It tends to be very black and white for them. They take the straightest route to the solution. Whereas for women it’s a bit different. We like to discuss the problem in length. Not because we can’t simply solve it, but because we like to see it from all angles. We like to be extremely informed about the best solution. We don’t want to go from A to B. We want to make sure that B is the best solution for the problem and that we aren’t accidently overlooking C. Both sexes would get to the same solution, but the paths in which they take are different.
As for relationships it’s a bit more complicated between the sexes. Solving a problem is simple because usually the problem doesn’t involve another human being. Being in a relationship involves learning how to communicate with an individual of the opposite sex who may or may not think like you. Men and women communicate in very different ways. Neither one is good or bad, just different. Men are more straight forward and to the point. They tend to leave their emotions out of a conversation. They look at the situation between them and the woman they are with logically and speak to that logic. Women on the other hand are more emotional when it comes to their communication. Most conversations stem from an emotional reaction. Our feelings tend to be the dominate force behind our communication with a man. Which is why most often than not an argument between a man and a woman can escalate.
We also communicate differently when it comes to our feelings. While women have no problem expressing their feelings men sometimes tend to be more closed off. Men being closed off is not because they aren’t capable of expressing their feelings, but because society has raised men from a young age to believe that emotions are weakness. While for women we were taught to share our emotions. On the occasion that a man expresses how he feels, it’s done in more of an analytical way. There is a structure behind how they express them as if they can’t let them get too out of hand. As opposed to women who have no problem expressing their emotions in whatever way works at the time. We have a tendency not to concern ourselves with how it’s seen.
I don’t believe one sex is more difficult than the other. I don’t think you can compare them in that manner. We were born to be different. We weren’t made in the same likeness for a reason. We were made to balance each other out. The complications come from how we communicate towards one another. Both sexes need to do more listening. You have to learn the way in which the other sex you are dealing with communicates. You can’t have a constructive relationship of any kind when all you do is talk and never listen. As a woman I will process everything I do differently than a man. But keeping an open mind and listening to any man I’m speaking with can go a long way and vice versa.
In all reality it’s absolutely beautiful that we are different. You don’t learn and grow as an individual from someone who is the same as you. Why would you want to be with someone of the opposite sex who is exactly like you? It seems to me it would make for a boring relationship.